the big day

2pm




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Lemon looks perfect, everything in the right place. there was one problem though, the tech could not find the penis

I think I'm going to try and find out the baby's gender on Thursday.I still don't want to know, but I kind of feel like I have to. I'm sure I sound like a crazy person. I really think it's a girl, but I don't know if that's me actually getting girl vibes, or jsut wishing really hard. And, I've set myself up so bad. I've been buying girly stiff. I swore I wasn't going to buy anything and here I am, and it's girl stuff.I'm actually worried about how I'll feel if I find out it's a boy. But, I'm also worried about how I'll feel if I find out it is a girl.I'm a little scared I'll be disappointed I didn't wait. But, I feel like I wish I'd known Delia was a girl b/c then I'd have gotten to have her longer, I know, that makes no sense.So, I'm not sure but think I need to know. I have an appointment with my MW tomorrow and I'm going to see if she has any input, and ask her if it's possible to give me an Rx for antidepressants so I can get it filled before the baby is born so I can start taking them right away. I've been having A LOT of mood swings and depression lately. I think I also want to start seeing her more often, the waiting is making me nervous b/c I'm not feeling much movement. I'm fairly certain I have an anterior placenta, again, b/c when I do feel nudges it's off to the side, not right in the front of my belly.Ok, that was random and whiny and long, but I needed to get it out.
and, if I do find out, I really don't feel like I want to share. I am feeling so greedy with this baby. I don't even like when people ask how I'm feeling. I want to snap it's none of your business! it's MY baby.

not much to report

took the boys fishing on the fourth. not one bite. they actually thought we were going to stay until they caught a fish! we'd probably still be there.

a couple weeks ago we took the bigger two to a minor league ball game. that whole experience sucked in epic proportions. this is a pic from before it all went down hill. the plus side is, it was a baby tooth, and the game was called so we got to exchange our tickets for another night.